Where is the Christmas spirit?

With only one week until Christmas Day, I can't find any Christmas spirit? I'll be honest with you. I haven't started Christmas shopping and would be quite satisfied if the presents somehow bought themselves. I have nothing in the place that remotely looks festive, and to be truthful, I like it that way. I change any radio stations when a holiday song comes on -- in fact, I don't think I've listened to one Christmas song the whole way through. You may just want to call me Scrooge.

Thinking ...

It's December. The second day of December to be technical. The twelfth month of the year.
I'm sitting in my apartment and the door is rattling, my roommate and her boyfriend are in her room watching a movie, and I am sitting on my ugly green couch.
And I'm thinking. Thinking about a lot of things. Thinking about the past and everything I miss. Thinking about Mom and wishing I could see her one more time. Thinking about the present. Thinking about changes I need to make to be happier. And realizing I need to set some new goals to make myself happier. Thinking about the future and wondering what the changes will bring. Thinking about what will happen and life and just trying to believe everything will work out the way its supposed to. Thinking about things I have no idea how to fix, and thinking about how I've just got to learn to deal with the situation when it makes me feel so helpless, sad, frustrated, angry, etc. etc. etc. I'm thinking about how hard this month is going to be and wishing it could magically be January already. And I'm thinking how life can be so cruelly unfair.
Essentially, I'm just thinking. So if you are thinking too, drop me a line. We can think together ... I think.