Tuesday, Dec. 16 ... interesting.

What a day....
Today started off fine. I got up, came to work, transcribed some stories.
And then three people were laid off and 600 within the company - one in my department, and two others (one of whom has been here for 33 years). No one is safe.
I also looked at my credit card because I've been thinking about booking a flight to Abbotsford, but the annual fees came out and now that isn't possible anymore - and it's not like I can actually leave for a week anymore anyways.
But it seems getting help for Dad could be soon...which is good.
It also means I will likely be going to Strathmore for Christmas. I am trying to be positive about Christmas, but a large part of me would rather spend it here by myself.
I'm also thinking of running away - partly to get away from that whole thing and partly because it's really cold here and I would go someplace warm.
Sometimes I just don't have the energy to deal with the crap in life anymore and I just want to scream.
That's all. I'm going to head home soon and make some chocolate chip cookies for the Christmas potluck for work tomorrow. I love my cookies, but likely won't have any. I ate part of a cinnamon bun and some hot chocolate yesterday and didn't even enjoy it. Yeah for the cleanse. I feel much healthier and my stomach is happier than it's been in months. Although my stomach doesn't like stress either, so its still not completely happy.
OK. Bye.

Back...for now

Well, it's almost been three months since I last posted on the blog. I'd be lying if I said I even tried to post anything during that time, because the opposite is true. In fact, I had no desire to post anything at all.
How have the past few months been? Where shall I begin? Well, I had a fantastic time in Portland with Karen and Kim. It was nice to just get away from life and have some fun. As well, my old roommate moved out and I now have a new one - who cleans, does her own dishes and pays rent on time (very important things).
But, I've not at all been feeling well during the past six months. It was exhausting continuing on day after day when I all wanted to do was crawl back into bed and cut out my stomach. It was hard going to work everyday when I felt so horrible, but I tried my best not to complain about how I was feeling -- mainly because it wouldn't help me feel better and others really didn't need to hear about it.
As well, I'm sure my stomach has been unhappy because I have significantly more stress than I would prefer.

Frustrated

There is one week left in this month, and sadly, it doesn't feel like it can go fast enough. Do you ever feel like you want to knock two heads together? How is it possible for people to have such a lack of maturity? Is it that hard to at least act your age? Do I really need to act like someone's mother?
Perhaps some people just lack the common sense others seem to have? I just don't know. Perhaps some people are simply just stupid?
I think I'm pretty easy to get along with, but I see an explosion in the near future. Perhaps some people should just kiss my pasty white ass.

Busy, busy, busy

Well, 'tis me. It's been a very, very busy but very, very fun summer. In the past few months I've had very few weekends in Lloyd. Instead, I've gone camping a couple of times, went to Body Worlds in Edmonton, saw a friend in Saskatoon, went to Big Valley Jamboree and just have had a really good summer. In a few weeks I will be heading to Portland with Karen and Kim to do some shopping and sightseeing.
Karen says hello. She is pretty fantastic and always a lot of fun. I am at her house....should be another fun weekend. Had a massage today. It was great, like always.
Anyways, not much else to say.

It's me....

Well, as everyone knows, I now have two jobs - one at the Booster and another at Starbucks (which will officially open on July 23. My life will turn from busy into chaotic as I will be working well over 60 hours each week. On the bright side, I will hopefully pay off some of my debt a lot faster and maybe, just maybe I will some day be able to buy a new car or something equally exciting.

Two days ago I got back from camping up at Brightsand Lake (a little over an hour from Lloyd). It was nice to just get away for a few days ---- on my first-ever paid vacation!! Woohoo! While it rained the entire day before we got up there, the weather was pretty good most of the time while we were up there.


See? Karen was pretty excited about it too...haha.



And here's Kim...just hanging out by the fire. The tent in the background is mine. Putting it up is super easy. You basically pull the top and it builds itself....unfortunately the taking down part isn't quite as easy --- let's just say, I wanted to throw it in the garbage and walk away. Luckily, I figured it out last night and for the next camping trip I have a super duper great tent. It's small, but I am hoping to upgrade sometime in the future. :)
The red tent you can partially see, is also mine. I bought it for $17 last year at Canadian Tire. While its also small, its done me well. My aunt gave me the other one.


And here are my three campmates from when we went geocaching. All in all the whole weekend was tons of fun.
And...for the rest of the summer, I will be a disappearing act for the most part. Between work and then the weekends I do have stuff planned, I may just be hard to find.

What happens when you can't sleep.....

It's midnight. 12:16 to be exact and I am not asleep. Unfortunately, this isn't an unusual thing for me. I often lay awake until the wee hours of the morning, wishing that I could sleep. But alas, it eludes me, so I turn on my computer to see who else isn't off in dreamland.
Speaking of dreamland. I had a very entertaining dream last night. (I slept for a four-hour stretch...what a fantastic thing). In my dream I was getting ready to fly somewhere (not too sure where) with Karen and Kim. We got to the Saskatoon airport and I realized I'd left my passport somewhere, so I had to go back and get it. We were already running late and the time would set us back too far. I made it back with my passport, and the plane hadn't left yet, but they weren't letting anymore passengers on. Luckily for us, someone talked to the pilot who said it was OK for us to get on the plane. And we were off!
Except not really, we began taxiing down what I believed to be the runway, when I looked out of the window to see that we were taxiing down Highway 16 (going towards Lloyd). I was extremely confused because that is not how it works. We were following someone and just couldn't get up enough speed to take off (who'da thunk?). We finally started taking off, but hadn't had enough speed so the plane landed just a little farther down the highway. Haha. Yep, kinda entertainingly funny. I learned one valuable lesson through this dream though....make sure to have passport with you......
Well, I suppose, now that I've bored you with my boring dream, I have hopefully bored myself enough that I can sleep.

A preview....

Does this look disgusting? Most people think so. But, I am slightly off balance, so I think it will be fun. What is it you may ask? Well, according to Wikipedia, it is is a "traveling exhibition of preserved human bodies and body parts that are prepared using a technique called plastination to reveal inner anatomical structures." Cool, huh? I will be going to the show in Edmonton in July.
The summer looks to be a busy one, once again --- two camping trips planned with Karen, Ian, Kim and the Nicholet crew. I imagine it will be close to Lloyd, so it will require little driving and gas and I've slowly been stocking up on the camping gear I will need, including a brand-new fishing rod I purchased yesterday with the help of Mr. Ian Green. Camping is so very relaxing with this bunch, and I am in dire need of a vacation...no matter how short. I've been at the Booster for more than a year now, and am definitely entitled to some time off.


I may also go to the Big Valley Jamboree again this year, with free tickets courtesy of the Booster. It'll just be a short one-day excursion.

Other than that, I will take some of the other weekends to just relax and take it easy. I need to take the time and space to make myself the number one priority in my life. We all have things in our lives that take our time and
mental energy---sometimes too much of it---thankfully at 30, I no longer play the martry---everyone has the thorn in their flesh, so to speak, even if we can't understand what the next person is dealing with.

And, I've booked some holidays for September. Karen has asked Kim and I if we'd like to go with her while she takes a course (related to her massage therapy). With an open invitation it just felt like it would be a relaxing way to spend some time sightseeing and exploring --- and maybe do a little bit of shopping.

So, with my summer planned out, I am eager to be able to spend some time relaxing....without having to spend too much on gas (because the price of it is outrageous!)

Meanwhile I still have to figure out how to handle a double-edged sword.

Shortstaffed.....

What a crazy hectic last couple of weeks of work. We are shortstaffed at the moment, meaning both Chris and I have been running ragged trying to complete our normal work as well as an additional supplement that we have to have done by the end of the week. While it has been less than fun, it has definitely kept us busy. But....by the time I get home from work, the last thing I really feel like doing is talking on the phone. In fact, it kind of makes me want to vomit. You can just handle so much talking on the phone before you just want to throw it out the window.
But that is all. Just thought I'd take a minute or two out of my schedule.

Another year has passed....

May 16. Seven years has come and gone since I said my last goodbye to Mom and she slipped into another world. Seven years today since my life changed forever. I miss her so much each and every day and its hard knowing I will never again get the chance to tell her I love her ever again. I just wish people would be happy for the good things they have in their lives instead of just focusing solely on the negative. While I will never get the chance to see Mom again on this earth, I know that I was blessed to have such a wonderful mother. She was truly my best friend.
As well, a week ago Monday, one of my friends passed away after a two year battle with cancer.
So when you have the overwhelming urge to complain about something small and trivial, focus on the good things instead.

It's fixed

Well, my computer is back in one piece again. I spilled iced tea on it a week ago and the letter V quit working. I called Dell, they sent out a new keyboard, and I had to replace it myself.
If you have been wondering, that is why I haven't been posting anything. That and I have had better weeks. But that is for another post, because I have to get back to work now.

Another Saturday

Well, today is May 3. Today I am happy and thankful for great friends who make me laugh. Where would each of us without these fantastic people?
I am also thankful for my health.
That's all for today. Just wanted to share my positive thoughts for the day. If you'd like, leave me a comment and your positive thought for the day.

'Tis May

Well, another May is here. For years even the thought of this month made me shudder as I thought about having to deal with yet another anniversary of Mom's death. In just two short weeks, it will be seven years since that proverbial rug was pulled from under me and my world was torn completely apart when I lost my Mom - my best friend. Seven years since I last heard her voice, saw her smile, heard her laugh. A loss so huge that left a gaping hole in my life and in my heart, never to be filled. Not one single day, one single moment goes by that I don't think of her and miss her beyond description. She was truly my best friend and I feel truly blessed to have been her daughter and to have had her as my Mom for 23 wonderful years.

But life does go on. I could have chosen to be a victim of life's tragedies, never happy, always looking back and hanging on to the past that wasn't there anymore. Bringing myself down and everyone else unfortunate enough to be in my self destructive path. I was really negative for a short time, and I felt completely justified in my misery. I had just lost my Mother and my heart and my life were broken into a million pieces.

I won't lie. For years, during the entire month of May, I would simply retreat within myself. I denied it was happening, but I was miserable and negative the whole time. Those with Mothers don't realize how insanely commercialized it actually is. Instead of honouring the person my Mom was, I chose to live in negativity during that month, not wanting to see anything positive about it.

Recently, I've decided to be happy and thankful for at least once thing per day. While at first this simple task seemed hard, it is getting easier every day. Instead of wallowing in self-pity throughout the year, and especially during May, I am choosing to look at what is good in my life. Ninety-nine per cent of the time, there is always something positive that can be found in any situation. And each day it gets easier to find that positive thing and it's helping me become more positive in general. And I hope I can help others be more positive as well.

I found an African proverb on the internet that says,

"When you cross someone on your path who is more committed to their hatred than you are to your love, then their hatred will take the place of your love.”

The moral of this proverb is that you need to make the commitment to yourself that you will walk with positive thoughts and have joy for life.

Don't get me wrong. Life isn't always a bowl of cherries. I still miss Mom more than I can ever describe, but I am honouring her by enjoying my life, just as she enjoyed hers. If a situation that I can change is bringing me down, then I should take the steps to change it, and if its a situation I can't change, then I should change the way I look at it.

We are all going to have those 'blue days' and I know that its alright for me to take that time to deal with things that are going on in my life, it's just when the blue days become chronic.

THESE ARE THE DAYS

This definitely was a day I will remember for the rest of my life. It is days like these that help me look beyond the difficulties of life and just cherish all that is good. The day started off simply - with a visit to my chiropractor and also included a trip to Starbucks and most importantly - PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!! ---- which was absolutely frickin' fantastic!!! --- The day spent with great friends was one of making great memories. There was laughter and there was tears (but only because we were laughing so much). I may not get to see these friends as often as I would like, but we definitely always have a great time when we are together.
Anyways, it's been an incredibly long day and I am incredibly tired, so I am going to head to bed. I just wanted to leave you with the chorus from a Jodee Messina song called These are the Days.


These are the days you will remember for the rest of your life
These are the memories you’ll pack in a box and pull ‘em out sometimes
So pick your flowers, count the seconds, roll the dice
But baby, don’t wait ‘till its too late
Put a smile on your face
These are the days

Remember, life's a journey and is meant to be a roller coaster ride. It may not always be easy or it may sometimes be fantastic. Either way -- try to put a smile on your face. As a close friend once said --- life is what you make it. You can either focus on the bad things and let it get you down, or you can get up off the couch and enjoy everything life has to offer.
So --- I am going to try to really focus on the positives in my life. I've got a good job, great friends, good health ..... and even the difficult things life will soon bring will hopefully be a good thing in the end.
OK...goodnight.

Old man winter is back.....

GOOOOOOOOOOOOO RIDERS!
Haha....obviously I am very aware it isn't football season, but I am just dreaming of much warmer times. (Well, except for the insane lightening storm that delayed the game 55 minutes).
Good times. I am looking forward to this summer once again. If it is as good as this past summer, it will have definitely been worth the wait. And even the huge blizzard that brought more snow than we've had all winter long...nope, I am not at all bitter.
I'd post a picture of the nasty weather, but quite frankly, I don't want to focus on the negative. I'd rather focus on what's good. Realistically, life is only as bad as we choose to make it. Yep, we just got crap loads of snow, but I get to see Phantom of the Opera this weekend (and it's not supposed to snow!) I also bought a very yummy watermelon yesterday and don't have the scanner because my car is stuck!! Bwa ha ha ha ha.
Perhaps I have just drank way too much iced tea today.
But right now I am thinking about camping. It may have rained buckets, but it was still a lot of fun. Haha (just pictured Ian pouring a drink down the front of his rain poncho.) good times. Me and my $17 tent...ah, good times.
Bring on the summer!
And thus...the end of another pointless post.
By the way, this is Karen's brother...not old man winter. haha

Saturday

Well...people...it's another day. This month is almost half over and I have been at the Booster for almost one year. Kinda weird. One year ago today I was in Provost, sitting in a hot tub, drinking all day long. And I was so dreadfully tired...and scared. O, how times have changed.
Right now I am sitting on the couch, watching Nashville Star (because there really isn't anything on), and waiting for Kim to show up so that we can go for lunch. Its a pretty laid back day. Just have to write a story later --- I met the Saskatchewan minister of education today....wahooo --- yep, that is the exciting stuff in my life.
Right now I think I will just focus on the really boring stuff, cuz it's much better than the not so much fun stuff.

Simple problems....easy solutions

I have to say....I am at a loss of words tonight. I do not know what I want to write, because I do not know what I want to say. Quite frankly, I don't know how I am feeling at the moment, but I do know one thing --- I would like a simple problem with an easy solution ... or any solution for that matter. Right now, this could mean almost anything, because most problems have some sort of solution or remedy. So I've decided, I am thinking of running away. Will you join me?
.......because I am to the point where I may have to say or do things I don't want to, and they would change things forever.

Spongebob Squarepants

Well, people, I have not been at the Booster just days short of one year. Only one year ago, Jackie and I were exploring the Lower Mainland and if I recall correctly, it was the Tuesday we should have just stayed in Abbotsford (haha, ah memories). Regardless, it was a complete blast to have our own little mini scene in our own little movie when we dashed into the taxi and asked if he could make it from North Vancouver to Vancouver (to the Greyhound Station in record time. If he hadn't been able to make it, we would have been forced to spend the night in Vancouver because that was the last bus out of town....haha. Good times. Wednesday was Vancouver Island and a day of whale watching (without the whales). Wow, I guess this means its also been one year since I called Vancouver home. I really need to go back and visit the mountains and the ocean .... and the people too I guess.
Not much else is new. I am finding myself slightly irritated today, but I am not entirely sure why. Still trying to decide how I should handle a certain situation, but haven't come up with any plans. Which is fine....because I have the rest of the summer.
Anyways, I will end this completely pointless post and hopefully get to go home pretty soon.

Berenstein Bears

I am liking April a lot better than that stupid month of March. So far nothing has happened and that makes me incredibly happy. Who knew that boredom could be such a blessing?
I do have a headache and my body hurts, but I can deal with that. It isn't a constant excruciating pain I can't get rid of and I don't need to take medication every three hours to try to dull the pain.
It looks to be a busy month...this weekend I will be heading up to Nipawin (unless it snows -- Murphy likes it to snow on Fridays), next weekend is still free, the weekend after I have a massage in Provost (it'd better not snow), and then the weekend after that is Phantom!! Wahoo! But I've applied for a second job -- so cross your fingers, toes and pray that it all works out and Starbucks hires me!! (How sweet would that be for a second job?)
Well, not much else is new. I think I've only got two people that actually read this blog, so hello Heidi and Jackie!

Don't even ask....

You know...most days I don't ask for much...but when I do I just seem to get shit on and its making me really angry. Why, when people are crusty do they insist on taking it out on other people? Can you answer me that?
Again, I don't know whether to scream or just cry. Will nothing ever go my way? Or will I just get shit on for the rest of my life? It certainly appears that way.
Whatever, perhaps I should just let the whole world kiss my ass and just walk away....or run...or drive.

I hate Murphy

I hope I never meet Murphy. I'd punch him right in the head.
That is all I have to say for now.

So happy March is almost over....

I just have to say, I am so ready for this terrible month of March to end. It has not been a good month, for a number of reasons.
One-I had my first round of dental work on Feb. 29. (Extractions, fillings, etc.) For the next week I was stoned on T3's as I tried to recuperate.
Thankfully I had one week in between where I was relatively pain free and happy, but on March 15, I had my second round of dental work. Unfortunately, the fun of life didn't end in the dentist chair. Later that afternoon I was in a car accident --- and that was a little more adrenaline and drama than I wanted or expected. Thankfully, the T3's kept me from being in too much pain at that time...which is good, because I don't think I could handle anything else.
Two-after about five days of recuperation after my second round of dental work, I thought I was on the path to a pain-free mouth. I was very sadly mistaken, because that was when I developed dry socket. The pain went from manageable --- to, I want to shoot off the right side of my head. I seriously believed it might hurt less if I walked on a broken foot (That being said, I don't really want to break my foot----but with stupid Murphy's Law, I am almost expecting it.)
Now, after almost two weeks of constant pain and pill popping (and a little bit of crying at work on Monday), I am almost back to normal...or so one would think.
Now that I've come off all the pain medication, I can actually feel how much my body hurts from the accident. All I can say is that I am very happy I have a massage tomorrow and a visit with my chiropractor on Saturday.
Work is....Dana is on holidays this week....we'll just leave it at that....All I can say is that I am so very happy that I work with Heidi. She is fantastic! And she makes great pizza! Mmmm....pizza.
So yeah, I'd like this month to be over and I am so very looking forward to April 1 (and that is no April Fool's joke). April has got to be better than March...or February...or January....all of 2008 so far in fact.
Well, I have just gone on an entire rant when I should really be working on a story for the paper...oh the fun never ends. Have I mentioned that I am needing a vacation? Maybe from life....haha, just kidding.
I do have to say, that I am very thankful the pain of the last couple of weeks (and month) appears to be coming to an end. I think I have the best dentist who listened to me whine these past couple of weeks. Hopefully I will never have to feel that kind of dental pain in my life, ever again. I pray that my hand gets stuck in another conveyor belt instead of dealing with a pain so excruciating...it's just as bad as an absessed tooth, just in a different way.
And...I am so glad that tomorrow is Friday. This week has gone on forever and ever -- kinda like the month -- and it will be nice to sort of relax for a couple of days.
Anyways, I should quickly write up that story so I can go to bed at 10 --- although I will be up at 11 to take some more antibiotics....ahhhh, the joys of life.
Sorry for the cynicism.

How today went

I am not happy at the moment. In fact, I have not been happy all week. My mouth hurts, in fact, I am in excruciating pain right now and just needed to vent to the anonymous blogging world. I almost cannot even express it. I am tired of dealing with pain. I am just drained and I just want to sleep every day until I have to go in and work on Sunday. That includes tomorrow. I just want to sleep away the pain. I have one T3 left, so I am going to take it and go to bed and just sleep....I hope.

A post about nothing

Hi. It is the evening of March 13 at 10:25 p.m. I am sitting on my couch, contemplating the much greater mysteries of life. Like --- if you have your shoes and socks on, why does dirt get between your toes?
I am really quite tired. I have too much stuff on my mind and have not been getting enough sleep. While I am trying to stay positive, this just makes me angry....mostly angry.
Well, I pretty much have nothing left to say.

A weekend in the life of......

Good day y'all. It is just after 9 p.m. on a Saturday night and I am sitting on my couch and enjoying the sound of silence (and me typing too). So far this weekend I have done nothing and the couch has been my best friend. Yesterday I got home from work and watched TV, did the dishes and made supper. I slept in this morning, made lunch and then proceeded to continue sitting on the couch and watched TV in my pj's until 4:30 p.m. I left the house for a short bit and froze off my butt, but soon returned inside to continue doing nothing. I was going to do the dishes and make some chocolate chip cookies, but I am lazy and that just didn't happen.
Sadly there is really is no point to this entry. A weekend of nothing. Tomorrow I will get to listen to the stupid scanner, and then Monday it is back to work. Wooohoooo. I think I am just a little bit grouchy because its winter and I am getting tired of the cold.
And do you know what else I did this weekend? I made myself a birthday cake yesterday....with whipped cream. Both flopped. So no cake for me. Hmmm...o well, such is life, right?
Ok...well that's all.

The death of my 20's...

Yes, it's true. In less than 12 hours it will officially be Feb. 1. I was born at 8:16 p.m., so I will not actually be 30 until that time.
It's all good though. The temperature has decided to celebrate with me and I have friends coming in from Saskatoon and hopefully Provost.
Celebrate with me, won't you? Or at least make me a cake. Haha.