Positive thoughts

Life is truly what you make it. If you expect it to be bad, for your luck to suck or for things to just go wrong in general, you can be guaranteed, they will. Is life always easy? No way, but you can always choose how to respond to the crap you can't control.
I'm choosing for life to be good. Have the last few months been easy? I'd have to respond with a no. Have I wanted to throw things and scream at the world? The answer would be yes. But I read a book called The Secret. It's simply about the stuff you put out in the universe (whether positive, negative or otherwise), will come back to you. If you put positive thoughts out there, those thoughts will come back to you. It was compared having a song stuck in your head. The more you think about the song, the more it gets stuck in your head. Same thing when you are miserable in your negative thoughts. When it feels like you can't get out of an unhappy rut, it's because you are keeping yourself there. If you keep thinking negative thoughts, they will become overpowering. One positive thought can steamroll into thousands more. Am I always happy? No, but I've been working on being positive - even when I don't think there is anything to be positive about. And the things I can't control I just have to give to God, because they are things I don't have any control over. But I'll continue to choose who I react to the the things I can't control.
So, through reading this book I realized something. I finished school almost three years ago, and was so happy to be done school that I forgot to set another dream, another goal. Without dreams and goals we really just meander our way through life in a pointless direction. It's no wonder I've been unhappy with where my life was at this past year. I lacked any focus and for that reason, I didn't care much either. So now, I've got a new goal, a new purpose. And while I achieve that goal, I will stay in Lloydminster, and I am choosing to be happy with my job (even though there are some things I'd like to change). I know I still have more to learn there, and I'm looking forward to where the next few years will take me, because I know it will be good!

Where is the Christmas spirit?

With only one week until Christmas Day, I can't find any Christmas spirit? I'll be honest with you. I haven't started Christmas shopping and would be quite satisfied if the presents somehow bought themselves. I have nothing in the place that remotely looks festive, and to be truthful, I like it that way. I change any radio stations when a holiday song comes on -- in fact, I don't think I've listened to one Christmas song the whole way through. You may just want to call me Scrooge.

Thinking ...

It's December. The second day of December to be technical. The twelfth month of the year.
I'm sitting in my apartment and the door is rattling, my roommate and her boyfriend are in her room watching a movie, and I am sitting on my ugly green couch.
And I'm thinking. Thinking about a lot of things. Thinking about the past and everything I miss. Thinking about Mom and wishing I could see her one more time. Thinking about the present. Thinking about changes I need to make to be happier. And realizing I need to set some new goals to make myself happier. Thinking about the future and wondering what the changes will bring. Thinking about what will happen and life and just trying to believe everything will work out the way its supposed to. Thinking about things I have no idea how to fix, and thinking about how I've just got to learn to deal with the situation when it makes me feel so helpless, sad, frustrated, angry, etc. etc. etc. I'm thinking about how hard this month is going to be and wishing it could magically be January already. And I'm thinking how life can be so cruelly unfair.
Essentially, I'm just thinking. So if you are thinking too, drop me a line. We can think together ... I think.

Hi.

I am so bored. But the problem is that I'm not at home, so there really is nothing to do to keep myself occupied. Is it sad that I'm currently watching Nascar racing? Well, not really watching. It's on TV and I glance at it periodically.
On a very, very cool note --- GARTH BROOKS IS COMING OUT OF RETIREMENT!!! He will be doing shows in Vegas for five years - 15 weeks per year. I'm sooooooo excited! My dream of seeing Garth in concert will soon come true!!!! Wooo hoooo! I cannot wait!
Well, that is all. Hoping tomorrow comes quickly.

Recently...

Well, Karen and I went to Calgary this past weekend and I finally have some clothes that fit properly (although I still need more). The weekend was a lot of fun, but I'm not sure how much I like Calgary. I also bought a table top barbecue from Costco and stuff from Ikea. Needless to say, it was an expensive weekend. It also rained the entire weekend and all I brought were sandals.
Now, after four days off, I am back to work. All I really have to say is - if people want to know, they can just ask. I am quite entertained by this simple fact.
As well, I also just had a blizzard from DQ. It wasn't very good and it has confirmed that I am still lactose intolerant. (I was just testing. Sometimes I am able to tolerate milk products ... not now apparently).
I am also waiting for people from an ABBA tribute band to call at 3 p.m. and 330 p.m. Then off to home to barbecue stuff for supper...mmm....so good. I will likely clean the kitchen as well and straighten up my room. O, what fun.
Other than that, not much else is new.

Eight years

In two days it will be eight years since Mom died. Seems like forever ago, yet seems like yesterday.

For the love of May

May has returned. I'm going to buy purple flowers and lottery tickets on Sunday.