Thinking ...

It's December. The second day of December to be technical. The twelfth month of the year.
I'm sitting in my apartment and the door is rattling, my roommate and her boyfriend are in her room watching a movie, and I am sitting on my ugly green couch.
And I'm thinking. Thinking about a lot of things. Thinking about the past and everything I miss. Thinking about Mom and wishing I could see her one more time. Thinking about the present. Thinking about changes I need to make to be happier. And realizing I need to set some new goals to make myself happier. Thinking about the future and wondering what the changes will bring. Thinking about what will happen and life and just trying to believe everything will work out the way its supposed to. Thinking about things I have no idea how to fix, and thinking about how I've just got to learn to deal with the situation when it makes me feel so helpless, sad, frustrated, angry, etc. etc. etc. I'm thinking about how hard this month is going to be and wishing it could magically be January already. And I'm thinking how life can be so cruelly unfair.
Essentially, I'm just thinking. So if you are thinking too, drop me a line. We can think together ... I think.

Hi.

I am so bored. But the problem is that I'm not at home, so there really is nothing to do to keep myself occupied. Is it sad that I'm currently watching Nascar racing? Well, not really watching. It's on TV and I glance at it periodically.
On a very, very cool note --- GARTH BROOKS IS COMING OUT OF RETIREMENT!!! He will be doing shows in Vegas for five years - 15 weeks per year. I'm sooooooo excited! My dream of seeing Garth in concert will soon come true!!!! Wooo hoooo! I cannot wait!
Well, that is all. Hoping tomorrow comes quickly.

Recently...

Well, Karen and I went to Calgary this past weekend and I finally have some clothes that fit properly (although I still need more). The weekend was a lot of fun, but I'm not sure how much I like Calgary. I also bought a table top barbecue from Costco and stuff from Ikea. Needless to say, it was an expensive weekend. It also rained the entire weekend and all I brought were sandals.
Now, after four days off, I am back to work. All I really have to say is - if people want to know, they can just ask. I am quite entertained by this simple fact.
As well, I also just had a blizzard from DQ. It wasn't very good and it has confirmed that I am still lactose intolerant. (I was just testing. Sometimes I am able to tolerate milk products ... not now apparently).
I am also waiting for people from an ABBA tribute band to call at 3 p.m. and 330 p.m. Then off to home to barbecue stuff for supper...mmm....so good. I will likely clean the kitchen as well and straighten up my room. O, what fun.
Other than that, not much else is new.

Eight years

In two days it will be eight years since Mom died. Seems like forever ago, yet seems like yesterday.

For the love of May

May has returned. I'm going to buy purple flowers and lottery tickets on Sunday.

And the answer is ...

On Monday I wiped out and was happy I saved my tea travel mug from an untimely demise.
On Tuesday I realized I should have been more concerned about dropping my laptop when I wiped out ... but I only thought about this after a screw fell out of it at work.
On Wednesday I realized it doesn't really matter anyways. Because what really does matter anyways? Friendships? Family? Health? Relationships? Or should the question actually be - What really matters to me? After all, we are only number one for ourselves. No one cares about us and our well being as much as we do. It's a true and simple fact. Maybe I should care about others far more than I care about myself, but I'm the only one who truly gets me, just as you are the only one who truly gets you. Nobody knows what truly make another tick. Nobody knows what really makes another person laugh or cry. Or maybe there are those that still do and we simply need to re-evaluate those in our lives who don't seem to make the effort anymore.

What's the saying?

I wiped out this morning on the way to my car - found the only patch of ice and bit the dust ... err, well almost bit the dust. I somehow managed to stay in the upright position (albeit closer to the ground than I would have preferred and with my legs bent in awkwardly funny positions), and even better than that, I kept my tea travel mug in my hand and didn't drop and break it like I was expecting. Breaking it would have been sadly unfortunate seeing as I just replaced one. And they say pride comes before a fall, but I wasn't prideful, I was simply walking to my car to go to work. Maybe I got prideful after that though - thinking I'd fallen without getting hurt. And that was easy to believe until I came home for lunch and decided to walk up four flights of stairs (I am trying to make healthy decisions, and while I may not work out yet, I can walk up the stairs). Unfortunately, that wasn't such a smart idea. It was only then that I realized how much my leg and back muscles hurt. All in all, it was a pretty funny situation, and I am sure would have been even funnier to watch. But thankfully no one saw me ... I think.